Toad in a Hole, The Early Bird, London, Ontario

I have to begin by saying that The Early Bird serves a sandwich called "The Fat Elvis" which struck fear in my heart, so I did not order it. I chickened out, and J.D. Salami may never let me live this down. I generally tend to be the 'safe' veggie-sandwich-ordering pussy here at You Say Sandwich, and sometimes I do have a little shame about that as J.D. waxes eternal on the deliciousness of meat fillings.

Note the smoked bacon on this plate. Carrying on.

The Toad in a Hole was more like a Toad in a walkup apartment. Huge. Served with a knife stabbed in to help tackle the thing, a very convincing psycho-billy touch for this punk styled diner.

Now that I am compiling my impressions on this towering toad palace, I wonder if the avocado tempura is supposed to be the toad, peeking out from under the bread. It sure looks like one! Regardless, there are a lot of mixed metaphors happening on my plate, but the unfortunate thing about the deep-fried avocado concept is that it basically destroys the texture and creaminess of the avocado. One important reason to put an avocado in a sandwich in the first place is to help integrate all of the flavours as they meld in each bite. Things completely broke down when I realized that each component of the sandwich was either so huge or so weirdly prepared that there was no flavour melding whatsoever. I think the cooks subbed in fresh tomato for the tomato chutney that was advertised on the menu, so there was nothing wet and/or creamy enough to cohere in my mouth. Even the chevre felt cloying, like too much peanut butter sometimes does. So it was more like a pile of unrelated things that someone decided to call a sandwich.

The hole itself, punched from the thick-cut French bread of the main was included as a 3rd side dish, beside delish smoked bacon and chips. Come in Fat Elvis, I need backup! Or perhaps a sandwich intervention. I will eat you next time.

Monty’s Bakehouse wrap, Air Canada

I’d rate this wrap as strange. Its packaging created expectations of a more appetizing experience, which it was not. After a vastly superior egg salad sandwich from London Heathrow, I could not greet this airplane freebie with serious interest, but at least it was hot, and at least I could review it for this blog. Steaming contents were oozy and largely undistinguishable, but suggested some kind of red pepper or sundried tomato origins.

Specialty Sandwich, Amtrak train dining car

Advertised as the "Specialty Sandwich" on board the Oakland to Los Angeles Amtrak train, this $9.75 grilled cheese seems a safe vegetarian bet, just as a bagel and cream cheese does when faced with weird processed meat choices aboard the VIA Rail in Canada. The specialty allegedly features gruyere and smoked cheddar, however each cheese was tasteless, plastic, and greasy, cooling to reveal six slices of highly processed cheese product. The crisp, somewhat grainy bread absorbed cheese sweat from inside, completely obliterating any relief that the mustard or tomato could have provided, and was thoroughly saturated in a meaty residue from the grill on the outside. This sandwich leaves the kind of mouthfeel that a glass of water cannot wash away. Note: pack toothbrush in carry-on.

Kim Anh Subs, Calgary

It's no secret I'm a fan of the Vietnamese sub. Hell, they've prevented my vegetarianism . But I do enjoy the vegetarian option now and again, especially when it's warm marinated soft tofu rather than the shredded fake meat variety. In Calgary one weekend, a friend and I found ourselves stranded in the city due to a snow storm, so lounging around 17th Avenue, cold, tired, hungry, and near broke, we popped our heads into Kim Anh Subs where he had ventured once before. Offering a whole wheat sub bun option, Kim Anh's subs were a bit more expensive than what I'm used to for a sub of this style ($3.50 is my price range), but it's Calgary, so what can you expect.

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