Repeat Offenders

Rock Lobster is hilariously bad in a way that I recognized all of the 90s music playing and wondered if they bought their decor at a Hard Rock Cafe closing out auction. Still, one night a group of loosely assembled friends and strangers wandered into one of Toronto's Rock Lobsters for a drink, and I ordered a lobster roll. A mess of cold mayonnaise and colder lobster meat, I was hoping for something more warm and buttery. I can't believe the guest of the evening agreed to come here as she doesn't even like seafood, but maybe she knew that this place wasn't about the seafood.

Banh Mi Boys is continually disappointing for its bread. If they had even a little bit better of a bun, these concoctions would be ace. But here you can see the bread can't even hold up to it five spice pork belly, and that is a shame. I have yet to try their baos, but I may have to go into burgerland along Queen Street West as I am feeling dismayed.

Le Gourmand's savoury treats are hit and miss. Thinking I had found a solid in the ham and cheese, another go at the simple sandwich made me sick to my stomach. Literally.

And while I will continue to return to Avenue Diner, I am sad to report this toasted tuna on white will not be a repeat order anytime soon. As a side, I ordered the mashed potatoes, which reminded me too much of a hospital cafeteria.

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Monty’s Bakehouse wrap, Air Canada

I’d rate this wrap as strange. Its packaging created expectations of a more appetizing experience, which it was not. After a vastly superior egg salad sandwich from London Heathrow, I could not greet this airplane freebie with serious interest, but at least it was hot, and at least I could review it for this blog. Steaming contents were oozy and largely undistinguishable, but suggested some kind of red pepper or sundried tomato origins.

Specialty Sandwich, Amtrak train dining car

Advertised as the "Specialty Sandwich" on board the Oakland to Los Angeles Amtrak train, this $9.75 grilled cheese seems a safe vegetarian bet, just as a bagel and cream cheese does when faced with weird processed meat choices aboard the VIA Rail in Canada. The specialty allegedly features gruyere and smoked cheddar, however each cheese was tasteless, plastic, and greasy, cooling to reveal six slices of highly processed cheese product. The crisp, somewhat grainy bread absorbed cheese sweat from inside, completely obliterating any relief that the mustard or tomato could have provided, and was thoroughly saturated in a meaty residue from the grill on the outside. This sandwich leaves the kind of mouthfeel that a glass of water cannot wash away. Note: pack toothbrush in carry-on.

Kim Anh Subs, Calgary

It's no secret I'm a fan of the Vietnamese sub. Hell, they've prevented my vegetarianism . But I do enjoy the vegetarian option now and again, especially when it's warm marinated soft tofu rather than the shredded fake meat variety. In Calgary one weekend, a friend and I found ourselves stranded in the city due to a snow storm, so lounging around 17th Avenue, cold, tired, hungry, and near broke, we popped our heads into Kim Anh Subs where he had ventured once before. Offering a whole wheat sub bun option, Kim Anh's subs were a bit more expensive than what I'm used to for a sub of this style ($3.50 is my price range), but it's Calgary, so what can you expect.

You Say Sandwich, We Say Yeah!

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